DRIFTS

DRIFTS

The winter of ’78 was the snowiest on record for the Midwest. So much snow and really low temperatures it sticks forever in our collective memory. I was living out in Kansas with my first wife back then, far out in the country.   I had finished building our house in ’76, and just finished building our garage/office adjacent to the house. I had installed efficient wood stoves for supplementary heat, and we cooked on a propane kitchen stove. Fortunate choices.

The snow and low temperatures started early that winter. By Christmas, the ground cover was averaging two feet and, in windy Kansas, the drifting was amazing. I dug trails to the horse corral, the chicken house , and to the wood lot. I re-supplied the wood pile every Saturday, burning a wheelbarrow full of hedge wood every day

The County worked continuously to keep the roads clear, which was appreciated as I worked 40 miles away in Kansas City. Getting through got progressively more difficult as the winter wore on. I selected routes to my house based on the elevation of the roadway. If it was on high ground, the wind scoured the snow off leaving only minor traveling drifts. These are the drifts that start on the windward side of the road right after the grader comes through, and built up to a couple of feet deep as they creep across. My truck could break those, but I took to carrying a couple of shovels to clear the tracks when necessary.

One difficult section of road running west of Sommerset had an eighth mile of four foot cut. This cut would drift full, making this, the last possible route home, almost impossible. Generally, the County kept this passable, although one night coming home after a windy snow filled day, they had not. I stopped at the rise before the cut and surveyed the situation.   No help for it. It was the only possible way to get home.

The road had been cleared many times and a heavily banked one-lane track ran through the cut. I backed up to Sommerset, figuring if I could get up enough speed, the cut banks would keep me going straight, and I could plow through. I floored it, picking up speed to 60 mph, and hit the four foot high by eighth mile long drift. Almost instantly, I couldn’t see anything through the wave of white pouring over the hood. The truck bounced back and forth and started slowing down. I kept it on the floor. At the last moment before completely bogging down, I broke through, and the engine died.

Getting out, I raised the hood and contemplated the completely snow packed engine compartment. I expected this, and got my small camp shovel out of the back. As I dug out the snow, the engine heat started melting it.   Soon enough, the tough 400 CID Ford started up again and we were off. Next, I had to turn south on Oak Grove Road, go two miles and climb the steep hill to 327th road. Easy enough since the wind blew straight down Oak Grove keeping it clear. At 327th, I turned back east for a half mile to my driveway. 327th lay just over the ridge and always accumulated a deep drift, but the County had run down it earlier in the day and the drift wasn’t too deep yet.

Finally home, all I had to do now was replenish the wheel barrow with wood, breaking a new path to the wood yard, feed the horses, breaking a new path to the corral, and check on the chickens located down the hill from the house. The wind was picking up and the thermometer was dropping rapidly. Before doing the chores, I put on my ski jacket, hat, and gloves. Getting the wood and feeding the horses took a little while with the rising wind and dropping temperature. I was concerned about the chickens. They were in their coop and completely protected from the wind, but several were molting (loosing their feathers) for some reason. With the thermometer now below zero and the wind chill maybe 60 below, I decided to move them to the garage. There were 70 bales of hay stored in the garage and the wood stove was going.

So, I donned my ski bibs along with the jacket, stocking hat, goggles and gloves, and walked directly into the teeth of that horrible wind   to the coop. Two at a time, I ferried the chickens up the hill to safety where they could sleep with the numerous feral cats hiding in the garage, stoked the stove, and I was done for the night. The tractor with blade attached was also there waiting for action in the morning.

The wind howled and snow beat on the house all night. The walls kind of vibrated from the force of the wind, but it was new, and I had built it with an eye toward just this sort of storm. In the morning the storm abated, and I ventured out to assess the drifts. The end of the driveway hooked left 90 degrees to the garage doors. A drift lay across the drive in the lee of the garage up to the eaves, but I could get out on the north side.   That snow had ended up in the huge drift.   The driveway ran up hill to 327th and wasn’t too bad. I got the tractor cranked up in the -10 degree sunshine, and went to work.

By noon, the driveway was clear up to the street. The snow was piled on the already high pack at the bottom of the drive which by now was at least 10 feet deep. A path was dug over to the corral through chest high drifts. I tossed cracked oats to the little birds along that path as I carried the grain to the horses. The birds anticipated this in the morning and crowds of them gathered round.   All my other paths were dug out, even to the chicken coop, but I left the chickens in the garage. They could hang out until it warmed up a little.

In the afternoon, I decided to saddle up my horse, Sugar, and try the road going east. He was feisty and eager to go, so we walked up the hill and started into the drifts. The snow quickly came up to his belly, then his chest, and finally the saddle. We only got about 200 feet, and he stopped, refusing to try anymore. Oh well. It was pretty cool for a few minutes riding in snow that practically buried the horse. We went back.

There was no sign of the County grader that day or the next, but then he came along, heading east into the deep snow. I walked up the hill to catch a ride with him and experience the removal operation.   The operator had both rear axles locked and chains on all four tires. He had the blade set as high as it would go and sharply canted. The removal process proceeded with the grader pushing the top of the drift off until it bogged down in a couple of hundred feet, then backing up, lowering the blade, and doing it again, removing more snow until he reached the gravel.   With good traction, he would charge into the drift with the blade up high and repeat the process. He would do this all day. He never did get all the way to 69 Highway as those drifts were 11 feet deep. That waited a couple of months and was finally cleared with a rubber tired loader. Eventually I could drive straight over to the highway with snow piled up higher than my 11 foot whip antennae on either side.

The entire winter was like this. I thought it would never end.   The snow pile at the end of my driveway didn’t completely melt away until late June. Irises grew up through the snow pile and bloomed. Of course, it was much worse up in Nebraska where entire herds of cattle froze to death under the snow. We did not go skiing in Colorado that winter, but contented ourselves with ‘water’ snow skiing, being towed behind my International Scout around the roads and over the buried fences.

There were a whole series of winters similar to the one of ’78, but this was the worse, or most impressive if you will. In spite of the fears of ‘global warming’ it will happen again, and again, until the snow fails to melt away in the summer and the next ice age begins. It was a wild time.

THE POLITICALLY CORRECT CAMPGROUND

THE POLITICALLY CORRECT CAMPGROUND

 

 

It was the summer of 1989 and we were on vacation. Seven children, a 26-foot camper, and a 15-passenger van equipped with a television and VHS tape player. The TV and tape player made our long trips possible. The kids brought Play Station games as well and between movies and Mario Brothers everyone was entertained on the long drives. We were firm believers in family vacations to far away places, and the kids had to go along.

 

1989 was the trip to a place in South Carolina called Edisto Island. This is a State Park located on the barrier dunes on the Atlantic coast, and a three-day drive from Kansas City.   Along the way to South Carolina we stopped at interesting and entertaining places such as Dollywood, which happens to be just like Silver Dollar City at Branson, Missouri. If you have been to one, you can skip the other.   We camped in a great little RV park right next to the City wastewater treatment plant, enjoyed the fragrant atmosphere for two nights, and kept the little kids from playing in the convenient, foamy, receiving stream, sorry, engineer lingo, then drove on through the beautiful Smokey Mountains into the Carolina’s.

 

We got to Edisto late in the day and couldn’t get in. The ranger directed us to an overflow campground located just up the road in a swamp. No services, so we couldn’t have air conditioning, but that was ok. It was just for one night. Then the no-see-ums found us. You probably don’t know what no-see-ums are. Let me tell you. They are tiny tiny mosquitoes. So small they crawl right through screens, and, of course, with no air conditioning, all the doors and windows had to be open. No-see-ums bite like crazy. The boys quickly abandoned the out-of-doors and retreated to the van, rolling up all the windows. The girls and us stayed in the camper providing dinner to thousands of no-see-ums. The next day after a sleepless night we found there wasn’t a square inch of our exposed skin that wasn’t covered with little red mosquito bites.

 

The next day we headed back to Edisto with some trepidation, but the ranger told us there were no mosquitoes on the beach and that was where we would be camping. The park at Edisto, selected by Cheryl the vacation planner using some secret means we have never figured out, was really cool. The camper spots had brackish water hookups, electricity, and no sewer.   But it was well worth it. We were just behind the barrier dune and only100 feet from the ocean. We quickly forgot about the no-see-ums. This was the first time the kids had been to the ocean. It was fascinating. We swam, netted crabs, swam, collected sand dollars, swam some more, surfed and got thoroughly sunburned. We ate the crabs. Brooke, my oldest daughter got some perverse enjoyment from dropping the little critters into boiling water and listening to their high-pitched screams. There is not much meat on these tropical crabs, but after you get over listening to them boil to death, they are pretty tasty. After a few days, the holding tank filled up clear into the toilet and it was time to go.

 

We wanted to visit CJ Martin, the son of friends from back home, who had joined the military and was stationed at Fort Bragg in North Carolina, so we headed that way. We drove our camper right up to his barracks unannounced and had a picnic lunch with CJ and about 50 other kids who quietly gathered around to savor this remarkable taste of home. It was very moving and we hated to leave, but it was at least 100o with 99% humidity, and we needed to get the air conditioning going. The next stretch we planned was driving up the Appalachian Trail until we hit I-64 where we would head west toward home. Off we went, and I am sure the Appalachian Trail was very beautiful. Unfortunately, it was entirely fogged in and we could barely see the road, much less the beautiful scenery.

 

Late in the day we arrived at I-64, desperate to find a place to stop for the night. We headed west on the interstate. Surely we would find a KOA soon. So we thought. We didn’t realize Senator Bird didn’t allow KOA’s or any other commercial campgrounds in West Virginia. Only State campgrounds. After an hour or so we saw a sign for Beech Fork State Park, advertising camping and a general store. It was some 10 miles south of the highway, but that general store looked mighty attractive. We could replenish our supplies, now running pretty low, and have a good dinner. It was dusk when we turned onto Route 152 and headed south.

 

The highway was a narrow blacktop running up and down hills and twisting along the ridges of the foothills. We were getting close when we came to the top of a really steep drop into a valley. I could see the road climbing up the other side and had a worrisome sinking sensation. It didn’t look like the van could climb that hill. There was no way to turn around, so I instructed the kids to start a power chant to encourage the engine, and off we went, peddle to the metal, GO…GO…GO…resounding from the back. Down we went, picking up speed, then up the other side. Somehow we made it, crawling over the top at five miles per hour, and started down an even steeper grade.   This grade twisted back and forth and I couldn’t help but notice the scarred up guard rails on either side.   It got even steeper, but after one last hairpin curve with battered guardrails, brakes smoking, we hit the bottom and coasted into Beech Fork State Park. I made a mental note, and underlined it. Do not attempt that hill in the morning. I would just add to the guardrail scarring. I would not make it back up that hill.

 

The park was beautiful.   Surrounded by steep hills and mountains, a cold stream running through it, and geese strutting around. At one end was the rustic general store, and we had our pick of campsites. Being a state park, it was aimed primarily at tent campers, and did not have hookups for RV campers, just electric, but that was ok. We weren’t even going to unhook the camper from the van. So the boys jumped out and in their usual frenetic way, put the jacks under the corners of the camper and set up their awning tent. Cheryl and I strolled around with Anastasia (Nana), then three years old, letting the days’ tension drain away.

 

The geese followed us.   Nana liked that and wanted to feed them, so Cheryl got her some pieces of bread to toss, and we walked to the general store. At the store we were met by a rangerette, complete with green uniform, severely tied back hair, no makeup, grim look, and a military-like hat. Cheryl started up a friendly conversation.

 

“What food do you have here?”   She asked.

 

“None.” Answered the rangerette.

 

“But the signs on the highway said you had a general store.

“We are out of food.”

 

“Well, that is really too bad.” Said Cheryl, eying the shelves full of food.

The rangerette was obviously thinking, “What are you worthless RV camper people doing here in my campground?”

“We have been on the road for days and really needed to shop for dinner tonight.”

 

Can’t you see this park is for real people who camp in tents and don’t pollute the environment.”

 

“We don’t have any facilities for RV’s.” Commented the rangerette.

 

“That’s OK, we are self-contained.” I replied. At least I am containing myself – barely.

 

Cheryl said, “I noticed a sign coming in that offered Pizza, delivered”

 

“They are in Huntington, 10 miles away. They don’t come here.”

 

“Do you mind if I use your phone?”

 

“Suit yourself.” OMG, these worthless middleclass flyovers are going to order pizza.

 

Five minutes later the pizza was ordered and would be delivered in 45 minutes. As a peace offering Cheryl said,

 

“You have really friendly geese here. They were following us around. My daughter asked for some bread so she could feed them.”

 

“You can’t feed the geese bread. It sours in their stomachs and can kill them.”

 

“Oh. Well, Anastasia is only 3 years old and didn’t know that.”

 

“I could have her arrested for that!”

 

“She is only three!”

 

“Well, I won’t arrest her, but the birds have to be protected. From yokels like you.

 

Sometimes Cheryl has a mean streak.

 

“Have you heard the Jeff Foxworthy joke about the minute rice?”

 

“No.”

 

“In Atlanta they had to ban the throwing of rice at weddings. It seems the sparrows eat it and after a while it swells up in their little stomachs and they explode.”

 

What horror is this!!!

 

“I’d pay good money to see birds exploding.”

 

“I wonder what happens if you feed them minute rice? Do you suppose they explode in a minute?”

 

“That is NOT funny. I am an environmentalist you know.”

 

You mean environmentalist whacko, right?

 

“I thought it was.”

 

Well, that was a thoroughly disgruntled politically correct rangerette, but I had to get some information from her. I asked her if there was another way out of the campground on account of I didn’t think I could pull that hill we came down getting in here. I got directions.

 

“Sure. Just go toward the mountain there and when you get to the fork in the road keep right.”

 

We walked back to the camper, noticing various tent campers tossing dishwater on the grass. Well, what is good for the goose is good for the gander. At the camper, I took the spare tire that we had to carry inside, and rolled it around to lean up against the side blocking the view of the sewer hookup. Then I opened the drain to the kitchen and bathroom sinks. That would make things much easier. Later that evening, the rangerette drove by several times with her flashlight peering at the spare tire, but she couldn’t see anything and didn’t have the guts to actually stop. After all, it is well known that flyover camper people all carry illegal guns with them.

 

The next day we cleared out early. Following the directions of the rangerette, I headed to the fork in the road. When we got there I quickly decided I must have misunderstood the directions. Keeping right would take us straight to the unclimbable hill. Keeping left the road took off up the mountain but on a more reasonable grade. I turned left. After going around the side of the mountain we descended into the valley and followed the creek, eventually regaining the interstate. We had thwarted the revenge of the rangerette, and were glad to escape from West Virginia.

 

I was a little ticked off and amazed at the rangerette, and decided I was done with camping for this trip.   I drove straight through to Kansas City, arriving home at 2:30 a.m. No politically correct anything at our old house. Just a comfortable bed.

 

END