I hesitate to publish this grizzly story. If you don’t like it, please don’t read it.
A VISIT TO THE ER or The Dance of the Blue Fairy’s
Since Cheryl decided to share my visit to the ER with the world, I thought perhaps I should share the real story.
I have been developing a ‘stomach flu’ for several days. On Monday, it suddenly flowered into fruition. (Actually, not flower-like at all) My GI tract busily voided itself of everything available and then started working on the general water content of my entire body. It was amazing. I was dehydrating. By seven it was all I could do to stagger upstairs to bed, although I still had to make my way down the hall every 20 minutes or so. A tremendous tornado ridden storm was raging outside, and our guests, the Ward missionary boys couldn’t leave.I missed the storm and missed the boys leaving.
I was having a really hard time even getting up to stagger down the hall, which I still had to do every 20 minutes or less as the night wore on. Around 3:00 a.m., a really urgent spell came on. I sort of quickly tried to roll out of bed and promptly passed out, crashing into my bedside table, crunching my knee and other parts. Cheryl sprang out of bed in a panic and pulled me upright. I let her help me to the jon and leave me there.
A few hours later, after taking repeated doses of immodium to no effect at all, a chapter on dysentery from my textbook on the Biology of Polluted Waters came and displayed itself on my memory. (Graduate school ~ Environmental Engineering) Let’s see, bacterial dysentery, amoebic dysentery, viral dysentery. Amoebic dysentery can kill you in short order. Cheryl was busy having urgent phone conversations with my doctor who ordered me to the ER. It was chancy, but I decided to go, and thence the story becomes the Dance of the Blue Fairy’s.
We are known personalities in our small town. The ER manager whipped me right into an ICU. The room quickly filled up with little blue clad female children. They had badges that proclaimed them to be nurses, but I swear, the oldest couldn’t have been 25. The youngest still had acne. They were all very cute and apologetic as they took off my clothes and searched my arms for un-collapsed veins. The one working on my left arm wanted to start an IV drip ASAP, and couldn’t do it. They got a slightly older girl in from the lab to help. Eventually, with lots of whispered discussion and knitted brows, they succeeded. The lab girl said they put something called ondansetron in the drip which should calm my guts. You should see the bruises from that. Then they took lots of blood from my right arm for the lab girl because she is, after all, the lab girl. Lots more discussion, and x-ray tech girl, probably 28, and her assistant, maybe 18, came in to look at my bunged up knee. More earnest concerned faces as they set up their equipment and took a bunch of shots.
Somewhere in all this activity the duty doctor came in. To my surprise, I did not know him. We discussed things and he thanked my daughter for bringing me in. I didn’t realize I looked that bad. My ‘daughter’ was very gratified. The little blue girls kept popping in and out, then my friend Mike Kohlman came. Mike is the ER surgeon. Now the frenetic activity of the little blue girls doubled or even tripled. The patient is the chiefs friend! Not to mention they are friends with the patient’s children. They would save me no matter what.
Through all of this, Cheryl is sitting out of the way with her lap top out dictating, talking to clients, and checking job approvals. She was also on facebook talking about all of this. Well, keep everybody informed of the whole grizzly episode Schatz. I might die yet. And to think, this was supposed to be international ‘Woman’s Day Off’ day or something.
Around 5:00, the blue girls unhooked me and we made our way home, stopping first at Walmart for some doctor recommended food. And that is the story. I still don’t know what is attacking me, so I guess we will have to wait it out.
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